In
the spring, the seedling vines that have waited all winter just below the soil
poke their tiny shoots up into the sun.
Their first priority is to seek a friend—something upon which to
climb. In my garden, they sidle up to a
nearby rosebush, last year’s hydrangea stalks or the large gardenia shrub at
the edge.
At
first they approach with a friendly kiss, a sweet hello. So innocent and soft, no threat at all. As the vine grows, it continues this playful
embrace, wrapping loosely about the host plant’s stem or branches-- a gentle
conversation, some morning chat. By the
time the host plant realizes it’s been had, the vine has tightened its grip,
preparing to completely cover the host with its now spreading leafy cover.
Other
plants aren’t sinister in their need for a friend. Oakleaf hydrangeas, rhododendrons, azaleas
and redbuds are all woodland plants that need the shade of trees and tall
shrubs to begin their journey on the planet.
While they may outgrow the shade, they begin their lives protected from
the burning sun by thriving in the undergrowth.
We
all need someone, because we have been created for relationship. “It
is not good for the man to be alone,” said God after creating the first man
Adam. The need for relationship is in
our very DNA—strands of protein joined in a patterned relationship uniquely constructed
for every individual. Cellular love.
Once
my babies’ eyes began to focus, they reached for me—for my nose, my eyes, my
earrings—whatever they could grab onto.
This was the beginning of the ride of my life as a mother!
As
we form the many relationships of our lives we need to continue to learn about
healthy, wise connections. We don’t want
to be so needy that we smother our partners or friends like the spring
vines. It wouldn’t be wise if we always
remained in the shade of others’ glory.
And we can’t stand off to one side, shut down and unable to reach out.
God
offers His wisdom on friendships throughout his holy word. One of the most popular pieces on
relationship is found in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 13,
verses 4 through 8:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does
not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not
dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no
record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. Love
never fails.”
Can you imagine
having a friend or a spouse who does these things? Just replace the word ‘love’ with the name of
someone you love. What a huge
responsibility to be like this! But
little by little, year by year, we can try to be like this, working on one
healthy aspect of love at a time. One
day, we may find that our love is exemplified through our patience, kindness,
humility, our respect for others, compassion, understanding, and our
forgiveness. We may find that we are
wonderfully able to celebrate the victories of others; we become vulnerable but
strong as we cover for others, hope
with others and seek to uphold others in their weakness.
That’s the growth I’d like to see in my Garden. Guess I need some spiritual MiracleGro!
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